Bring on the Colors

Here’s what Kat McNally has invited us to reflect upon today in Reverb:

Like most humans, I tend to be a bit black and white in my thinking. I have “good” eating patterns or “bad” ones. I have a “good” day with feeding and settling my bambino or a “bad” one. I am “good” at keeping on top of domestic tasks, emails, blog posts, my twitter feed or I am “bad” at it.

As my journey deepens, I see that this way of thinking is not only unfair, it’s untrue and doesn’t allow much space for the quiet but amazing shifts that happen while I’m not not looking.

As you enter into the new year, what would you like to do/make/have/be more often? How will you bear witness and celebrate the tiny milestones? How will you respond on the occasions when your intentions do not come to pass?

I spent some time pondering this prompt.

I wanted to start by saying I don’t think I’m a very black and white thinker.  I think one of my gifts is being able to hold space for a big spectrum.  Being able to see the shades feels like how I both get to honor and celebrate each one of us in all our unique diversity; but also being able to discern the shades makes it easier for me to decide what’s preferred for me and what’s not, in ever-increasing refinement.

But the more I thought about it the more I began to wonder if that’s totally true.  I think I DO hold labels for myself that it would serve me to loosen up.  This feels really hard AND full of possibilities for me.  I love naming things.  But what if instead of identifying with a particular name I’ve given myself, I just continued to add more names?  Boundless, always changing, ever-evolving delicious names that didn’t define me but helped describe me in the moment, that I could wear like the myriad of bangles I wear on my arm.  That feels so spacious, so expansive.  So I’m not an introvert rather than being an extrovert (in that black and white thinking kind of way) – I’m an introvert at this big party, and I’m an extrovert when hanging out with my cat.  I’m not-such-an-obsessive-housekeeper this week, and I’m a genius tidier when I’m ready to tackle that closet.  What if I give myself permission to be everything without judgment.  Now that’s something I think I’ll be playing around with consciously.

And in the meantime, as I consider 2015…

What would I like to do more often?  More walks, more writing, more clean eating.  Create more fabulous ways to connect with clients; laugh more and care less; move quickly.  Remember how free I really am; choose deep; experience myself as a divine alchemist, a magic bringer, and a loving-kindness bearer.

What would I like to make more often?  More books, more zines, more talismans.   More French toast, more herbal beads, more art.  More deep connections, more joy, more fabulous fortunes.

What would I like to have more often?  More artist dates and out-and-abouts; more fabulous juicy collaborations; more breakfasts out.  More time in extraordinary flow; more feeling really good in my body; more flowers.

What would I like to be more often? A soul guide, a grace artist, an embodier of poetry. An author, an illustrator, a creative genius.  Mostly I want to be me full-out as much as I possibly can.

How will I bear witness and celebrate the tiny milestones?  One of the things I’ve really enjoyed and found enormously helpful is participating weekly in the Scattered Life Collective and doing a blog post about what I’ve been up to during the week and what’s captured my attention.  It’s a nice little review for myself and helps me celebrate the delights in my life.  I also enjoyed the creative practice I was doing at one point of making a card per week, using a playing card, and capturing a tiny “snapshot” of my week in words and images on one side, and a selfie on the other.  I think I may return to that in 2015 and see if the practice remains interesting enough to me to keep up for a year.

How will you respond on the occasions when your intentions do not come to pass?   Loosely, with curiosity.  I think it can be very helpful to see if something still holds your attention and if you want to continue you with it, and if so then look at the reasons you didn’t move in that direction.  But if my heart isn’t pointing in that direction anymore, then frankly I think a detailed post-mortem is waste of time and energy.  I’m okay with letting it go, and trusting I’ll return to it when I’m ready or simply allow that I’ve switched course.  I don’t want to keep going down paths that don’t feel soul nourishing anymore.  I want to wrap everything, including myself, in a thick layer of loving-kindness.

I’m glad I dug a bit into this prompt because it makes me see that while I don’t want to be stuck in black and white thinking, I don’t really want shades of gray either.  I to paint everything, especially my life in brilliant hues and wild exuberant colors.

What about you?  Any part of these prompts call to you?  Do tell.  You know I love to hear.