Day three of my ritual bridging the old and new year involved something a bit harder than the previous days. Today I spent recording the losses and disappointments of the year, with an eye on looking at the lessons involved. This is always a hugely useful exercise for me, and because I know this from past experience it’s easier for me to dive into than the first time I did it. But truthfully, even though it can be hard to look at the hurts and sadnesses and disappointments, doing a review like this can bring such unexpected clarity. And an additional benefit is that then their hold on me is greatly loosened. It really seems to me that with their honoring they are far easier to lay to rest.
And I have to say I really learned some interesting stuff about myself this year by doing this. It’s a big help in figuring out the let’s-not-do-that-agains as well as seeing with new clarity what things are such obvious sticking points that need to have workarounds proactively put in place. Based on today’s review one of the things I’m seriously choosing to work on next year is finding a more helpful balance between the Create-Connect-Consume categories of my life. Charlie Gilkey talks about these categories in this post on his blog, and I find it such a brilliant way to consider things.
The other task for today’s work was looking at the final four astrological house categories and assessing my year from that perspective. The ninth house is the “Mind Expansion” box and includes what we study, how we learn, and what we teach. In a way it’s all about our personal searching for the maps and guidelines that give a sense of meaning and purpose to our lives. The tenth house is the “Public Image” box. This one is certainly about career/profession/reputation; but it’s also about what we desire the world to acknowledge about us. And sometimes clues about that can come from looking at who we admire. The 11th house is the “Idealism Box”. When I first came across that term for this house it didn’t really make that much sense to me. Because this house is about large groups and organizations, institutions, like minds. But the more I consider it the more I realize that this really is idealism – how I see myself in relationship to the rest of the world as reflected in the groups I join or feel affiliation with. And this is always an interesting house to look at in seeing how things shift and change over the years. The 12th and final house is another one that took me a while to understand how it got named the “God” box. It’s how you seek connection with what you consider the overarching All-That-Is, whatever you might call it. This house is also considered the collective unconscious; the place of our escapist habits and hidden ways we screw ourselves up; and the place of our big beautiful dreams that we need to withdraw from the busy outside in order to see and nurture.
With today’s work done I’m really starting to get a sense of where I’ve been this year. There are still a few more pieces to come in the next days but I’m definitely beginning to see patterns that will help me in planning where I want to be putting my time and effort next year.
What about you? Do you have a sense of what’s calling you forward? I’d love to hear.