Surely I can’t be the only one who has experienced February as a month of paradox. Haven’t you felt it too? Time is rushing by, and yet there is the expansiveness of a stillpoint as well. As though once one gets acclimated to the speed, like on a fast-moving train, one can watch the moving scenery as more of an extended image than scenes whizzing by. Our weather has held the contrarian energies as well – freezy cold and snowy altering with genuine warmth and glimpses into the soon-to-arrive Spring. But winter isn’t ready to be given the bum’s rush quite yet, and he’s adamant that he’s staying until he decides he’s not. We had a couple of very powerful wind storms and that feels like an appropriate expression as well. There’s something so clearing about the wind – blowing out the old and changing up energies. But the aftermath often leaves things that need to be cleaned up as well.
I’ve felt like I’m in that between place as well. Not quite able to focus on the things I thought I wanted/needed/ought to. Knowing that there are things I DO want to return my focus to and projects I’m excited to get to work on. But I find myself turning over the packed to-do list and the self-imposed expectations, and instead, gently allowing myself to be led to the well for small sips of quiet reflection and deep drinks of inspiration.
I’ve been noticing abundance all around me, and also looking at the places where I hold resistance to it – holding it off perhaps in an attempt not to be overwhelmed. It’s an odd dance isn’t it? I think the only way I know how to hold this in a way that makes sense to me, is to truly try to live in adherence with the idea of “only treasures.” Inviting more of what makes my heart happy, and letting go of all the extra bits that don’t.
I think part of the problem is we’d all like to think this is a one time job. Decide and do. But in truth, like so much else, life actually requires a lot of maintenance. I inherently know this, and I imagine it’s why I am so fascinated by and attracted to working with cycles, such as lunar time. Because I can see how things unfold in a regular rhythmic pattern, even if the external bits and circumstances change – the pattern remains an underlying grid.
I recently read about someone who schedules a whole day, every couple of months, as a catch-up day to attend to all the things she hasn’t been able to get to. While I like the concept in general, I’m not sure how well that would work for me. In my mind it kind of keeps things further out of the now moment than is helpful. I think this is a problem lots of folks face, without actually understanding it. While we’re busy focusing on immediate concerns, we have this illusion that the future holds more time. And it can look that way when we look at our scheduling calendars – the immediate and near future days get filled, but the further out days seem more expansive and open. But we forget the same maintenance issues we have now, we’ll have then as well, we just somehow forget to account for them. And so it can seem like an endless game of things needing to be caught up. Which of course leads to heightened stress and anxiety. I don’t think it helps that many people have decided it’s a badge of honor to live in a state of constant busyness. I’d love to see us all take some collective deep breaths and step off that hamster wheel.
I’ve been imagining what it might be like if we lived the kind of lives where once-every-four-years we could allow ourselves one day to re-set our rhythms. What if we decided that’s the real purpose behind Leap Day in every Leap Year? Just a day to let go of old cycles, old schedules, old stories, old rhythms, and simply start fresh. Doesn’t that sound exciting? I think I’m going to lean into that one.
And I suspect that’s some of what this feeling between places has actually been all about for me. Listening for my new rhythm, while lightly holding on to projects that still hold my heart’s energy, and also opening to inspiration for what else is ready to spark. It’s exactly the right place for me to be I think.
Here’s a peek at the Solomias from my Valentine’s bouquet, still making me smile weeks later. That’s an abundant gift isn’t it?
So what do you think – are you in a between place? Are you getting ready to leap into a new rhythm? Are you seeing paradoxes? Are you surrounding yourself with treasures? Do tell – you know I love to hear.