Surely I can’t be the only one who has experienced February as a month of paradox. Haven’t you felt it too? Time is rushing by, and yet there is the expansiveness of a stillpoint as well. As though once one gets acclimated to the speed, like on a fast-moving train, one can watch the moving scenery as more of an extended image than scenes whizzing by. Our weather has held the contrarian energies as well – freezy cold and snowy altering with genuine warmth and glimpses into the soon-to-arrive Spring. But winter isn’t ready to be given the bum’s rush quite yet, and he’s adamant that he’s staying until he decides he’s not. We had a couple of very powerful wind storms and that feels like an appropriate expression as well. There’s something so clearing about the wind – blowing out the old and changing up energies. But the aftermath often leaves things that need to be cleaned up as well.
I’ve felt like I’m in that between place as well. Not quite able to focus on the things I thought I wanted/needed/ought to. Knowing that there are things I DO want to return my focus to and projects I’m excited to get to work on. But I find myself turning over the packed to-do list and the self-imposed expectations, and instead, gently allowing myself to be led to the well for small sips of quiet reflection and deep drinks of inspiration.
I’ve been noticing abundance all around me, and also looking at the places where I hold resistance to it – holding it off perhaps in an attempt not to be overwhelmed. It’s an odd dance isn’t it? I think the only way I know how to hold this in a way that makes sense to me, is to truly try to live in adherence with the idea of “only treasures.” Inviting more of what makes my heart happy, and letting go of all the extra bits that don’t.
I think part of the problem is we’d all like to think this is a one time job. Decide and do. But in truth, like so much else, life actually requires a lot of maintenance. I inherently know this, and I imagine it’s why I am so fascinated by and attracted to working with cycles, such as lunar time. Because I can see how things unfold in a regular rhythmic pattern, even if the external bits and circumstances change – the pattern remains an underlying grid.
I recently read about someone who schedules a whole day, every couple of months, as a catch-up day to attend to all the things she hasn’t been able to get to. While I like the concept in general, I’m not sure how well that would work for me. In my mind it kind of keeps things further out of the now moment than is helpful. I think this is a problem lots of folks face, without actually understanding it. While we’re busy focusing on immediate concerns, we have this illusion that the future holds more time. And it can look that way when we look at our scheduling calendars – the immediate and near future days get filled, but the further out days seem more expansive and open. But we forget the same maintenance issues we have now, we’ll have then as well, we just somehow forget to account for them. And so it can seem like an endless game of things needing to be caught up. Which of course leads to heightened stress and anxiety. I don’t think it helps that many people have decided it’s a badge of honor to live in a state of constant busyness. I’d love to see us all take some collective deep breaths and step off that hamster wheel.
I’ve been imagining what it might be like if we lived the kind of lives where once-every-four-years we could allow ourselves one day to re-set our rhythms. What if we decided that’s the real purpose behind Leap Day in every Leap Year? Just a day to let go of old cycles, old schedules, old stories, old rhythms, and simply start fresh. Doesn’t that sound exciting? I think I’m going to lean into that one.
And I suspect that’s some of what this feeling between places has actually been all about for me. Listening for my new rhythm, while lightly holding on to projects that still hold my heart’s energy, and also opening to inspiration for what else is ready to spark. It’s exactly the right place for me to be I think.
Here’s a peek at the Solomias from my Valentine’s bouquet, still making me smile weeks later. That’s an abundant gift isn’t it?
So what do you think – are you in a between place? Are you getting ready to leap into a new rhythm? Are you seeing paradoxes? Are you surrounding yourself with treasures? Do tell – you know I love to hear.
Hey Deborah,
” Time is rushing by, and yet there is the expansiveness of a stillpoint as well.” Yes, I feel that too. Nice post.
Mary
It’s a curious thing isn’t it Mary? But here’s to finding joy no matter how we experience time!
Just February as a paradox? Hmmm – I find every day to be that way with a bit of glee when I see the humor in it all. Your description and discussion of the wind is brilliant – that will stay with me for future howling moments. Thanks for the fun share, Deborah. As always, it’s thought-provoking to read your musings.
Yay for glee and humor and cleansing winds and the power of paradox! It’s all good and so much for us to appreciate.
Yes, I do feel like I am in an in between place. I can certainly appreciate the rush that we all feel with too much to do, but I think one day every four years would be far too little. I love the idea of a freebie day tomorrow, though! That is fun. I just wish that the people at my work would think of it like that as well. (Darn!)
It would be fun to have leap day be a day actually off the calendar – some kind of cosmic experience that didn’t follow “regular” time because it was extra and we were leaping off the old grid. A real “between time.” Yeah, I could go for that.
Businesses can be so uncooperative with our brilliant ideas can’t they? Wishing you a fabulous day anyway.
Hi Deborah – I hope things are coming together – but I’m rattling cages … so pray for the easing of life and nature … March is about to pop into the world … I hope it doesn’t rain too much, as that brings rain in June … but the forecast isn’t that good – still I’m an optimist and a positive one at that .. cheers to us all – Hilary
Cheers to us all indeed Hilary! Hope you have a sunny oh-so-delightful March (and rest of the year as well).
It really does seem as though Leap Day should be something special, a day to be celebrated in some memorable way, and you wouldn’t think that the corporate “powers to be” would object that much to an actual holiday that only happens once every 4 years. I hope to seize the day in a special, positive way somehow and I hope you do, too!
Wishing you a wonderful Leap Day Candace – perhaps you’ll spot a special “leaper” bird.
What BEAUTIFUL flowers!!! And this was my favorite line of yours….” gently allowing myself to be led to the well for small sips of quiet reflection and deep drinks of inspiration.”
I had such a beautiful vision in my head of what that might be for me. Lovely, I must say!
Oh perfect Elda!
Thanks for your thought provoking post Deborah. I like what you said about Leap Day, “Just a day to let go of old cycles, old schedules, old stories, old rhythms, and simply start fresh.” What do I need to let go of today? And the visual you created is beautiful…… “gently allowing myself to be led to the well for small sips of quiet reflection and deep drinks of inspiration.” I think I will write on this in my journal today:)
Sounds perfect Nancy. And I hope you’re leaping into much joy!
I am definitely at an ‘in between’ place these days. I have two elderly dogs, one of whom can no longer walk and uses a wheel cart. Both are very needy and my days seem to revolve around their needs. There are times when I am so tired and so sad, but they are my babies and I am committed to them. They have brought so much joy and comfort to my life…..caring for them, loving them it is my focus for now.
Sending love to you and your two dogs Deb!
Yes, yes, and YES! I’m trying to adjust to abundance, time speeding up, and small to-dos that keep getting pushed to another day too. All I can say is that I’ve been giving myself far more time to rest than ever before and it’s helped immensely. I’m focusing on the little moments as well.
Good for you Naomi. Here’s to exquisite self-care and finding our own right pace.
‘Time is rushing by, and yet there is the expansiveness of a stillpoint as well’ YES you have summed it up beautifully. You are certainly not alone in feeling this way.
Indeed Kama, it seems many of us are steeping in this energy.
I am going to embrace your Leap Day concept of a healthy reboot. Such a clever and refreshing idea, Deborah.
We’ve had windstorms here on Canada’s west coast as well. Man alive. It was rather scary the other night as it blew for hours. My power went out at 5:30 in the morning and that was only the fifth time I can remember that happening in 25 years of living here. However, I do love the aftermath of the wind. The air is so fresh and the mountains are clearer than clear. I swear we can see each individual tree on them.
Your Valentine flowers are beautiful.
Sounds like quite the storm Kelly – glad there was no serious damage. That sense of freshness is fabulous isn’t it?