Today I’m looking at two more of Kat McNally’s August Moon prompts.
The first is “Dreaming the Impossible – what are the stories that limit you?” “What would you be without those stories?”
That’s a fabulous topic. We all have our stories, so many stories, that keep us bound into limitation, into smallness, into shining less than who we truly are. Releasing these stories is something I’ve been focused on for a while, and truly these stories have loosened for me. I look forward to the day when I’m not holding on to them at all anymore – that I can honestly say I’m done with those distortions.
But in the meantime, here are my limiting stories:
- I’m simply not good enough, talented, wise, or have enough to offer. I honestly suspect we all carry our own version of this story, and it gets enculturated pretty early. I’m actually at a point where I can mostly laugh at this one, except it pops up and bites me on the butt occasionally. This is a nasty, hurtful, totally unhelpful story, based in judgment and separation.
- There isn’t enough time. Time is such a mystery to me, and part of me believes there is actually something I’m supposed to figure out about this which might explain my life-long fascination with the topic. But story-wise I lean into it heavily, sometimes to justify to myself why I haven’t accomplished all I want, and sometimes as a way to make myself feel incredibly bad for not figuring out how to manage it and my dance with it more gracefully.
- There’s a more perfect way to do it. Oh yes, this is a very limiting story, because I use it to postpone doing things thinking if they’re not tweaked into some unknowable state of perfection they’re actually not good at all.
- But I think the real, most challenging story I tell myself is simply a fear. That in order to get more of what I want, I risk giving up what I already love. My life is so wonderful and so blessed in so very many ways that I don’t want to give up any of it up. Yep, I want the advance guarantee that change will only move me into my preferred direction with no detours into the land of scary, unsure, uncontrolled, or holy-crap-what-did-I-do? This story is the one that makes me laugh the most and the one I keep myself most in a stranglehold over. Did I miss out on the teaching the day change was explained as good, expansive, totally awesome and never to be avoided? It certainly seems like I did!
Who would I be without these limiting stories? Big shiny me-full-out, creating and putting stuff out in the world unconcerned with how it’s received in general because I know that if it contains my true energy signature, me without the distorted illusions and stories, those truly in resonance with me will be able to find me because I don’t have myself hidden in a story. My true inner matryoshka doll is revealed!
The second reflection Kat invites us into is “How will you start the journey?” “What sort of trust would this require?”
Just do it. Do it! That means finishing the illustrations for a collaborative series of books I’m working on – even though my skill level isn’t what I imagine/hope it might be. That means seriously committing to a non-negotiable writing schedule because I have a bunch of books backed up inside of me wanting to get birthed. It also means keeping myself anchored in loving-kindness and self-compassion and willingness to forgive (and hopefully with laughter) the wobbles. But not letting that stop me.
And what sort of trust does this require? Trust that the support, guidance, and inspiration is there in every moment and I only need to call it in. I want to be a force to be reckoned with. Nothing, not even especially me, can stop me from shining full-out brilliant. I know with absolute certainty we each came here to play from the YES part of ourselves, and I have to trust that part is fully intact and more than ready to come out an play.
Now that you’ve had a peek at my limiting stories and my gentle plans to move forward, I’d love to hear yours. Do tell.
Great post, Deborah. I can relate to all of those limiting stories. I think the biggest one for me of those you mentioned is that I’ll lose what I already have that I love, and/or things will get reallly yukky. I fear being lonely, although I love solitude and flourish in it and avoid crowds. I fear being pushed to do things that I don’t want to, although that very, very seldom happens anymore. I fear that what I make and create is just ho-hum. Stepping back, I know that these aren’t true, and those thoughts are so less present than they used to be. Yet, they certainly do pop up. But, I think, the biggest fear for me is that I’ll get to the end of my life and think, oh, gee, why didn’t I (fill in the blank)?
Thanks for making me think.
I thought the prompt was quite provocative too – and it was really helpful to examine my stories. While I’m glad they don’t have the same weight they used to, it would so wonderful if they simply blew away. I so relate to all of your stories as well.
I certainly relate to the issue of Time but your fear of giving up what you already love in order to get more goodness really struck a chord, probably because its part of the melody called SCARCITY! My, how I do know that song =\ (and thank you for your kind comment on my post about that!)
I, for one, will be happy to support you in your ways for tackling your old stories so you can move forward with those wonderful books (and I’m always looking for a good book to read, even children’s books!). I am sure that when you put pen to paper the stories that you will share with us all will bring much happiness – indeed the stories you are already sharing with us here are bringing many of us happiness or comfort that we are not alone in feeling ‘not enough’ and that is a good thing you are bringing to the world =-)
“…the melody called SCARCITY” – oh my Monica that’s such a fabulous and powerful image. I’m going to hold on to that and consider all the places I’m hearing it.
And thank you for your very kind words. I hold them as a treasure.
I can see the relationship between the answers to your two prompts. Let me know what I can preorder your books! x
LOL – what a delightful response Kat. Thank you!
What a fascinating topic – what would we be without our stories… There’s not enough time is a big one for me, too, please let me know if you figure it out first!
Fascinating indeed Tat!
Ah, that LACK mindset… I often feel I’m not up to par either, but I wonder if I’m comparing myself to someone else or a different version of me. It’s good to hear that others feel this way too.
Oh Naomi EVERYONE feels that – I think that’s part of the human condition and one we’re all working to release as we let go of the old separation paradigms. You’re certainly not alone.
hi deborah:
I like getting into the story that just when things go good, something bad happens. which, actually, seems to be the case. so i’m sure i’m creating that reality with the story.
yesterday while mowing the grass (best think time for me) it suddenly occurred to me that God has given me so much more than he/she has ever taken from me. This was startling in it’s truth-full-ness.
I get a lot out of your blog, plus love you to pieces.
tl
I can feel that power of that realization TL. I think when we can come to an understanding of truth from the place I like to call neutral beneficence then we just have to loosen our grip on the old story.
I think it’s perfect that mowing is one of your best think times. And it always delights me when you stop by. I love you to pieces too!