Today Lori-Lyn Hurley invites us to look at FORGIVENESS.
Some of my deepest understanding about forgiveness came from my work with survivors of violence. And I think perhaps one of the most helpful openings into the discussion of forgiveness came from a writing by Karla McLaren in her book Emotional Genius.
She writes: “Once again I remind you that real forgiveness isn’t a polite teary behavior. Real forgiveness doesn’t act as an advocate for your tormentors…Real forgiveness knows that real crimes have been committed and real damage has occurred – which is why anger, rage, fury, and hatred arise in front of it. Real forgiveness creates true separations from torment and tormentor, and these true separations require the boundary-restoring energies of all the angers so that the real passage through the underworld of suffering can occur. When your angers have restored strength, energy, privacy, and boundaries you lost in your trauma, you will have arrived at stage three, and forgiveness will follow naturally.”
Forgiveness is not a feeling. It is a behavior. It is a choice. And when you’re ready to choose it, it can be the most liberating thing.
I love this poem by Hafiz:
Is the cash you need.
All the other kinds of silver really buy
Just strange things.
Everything has its music.
Everything has genes of God inside.
But learn from those courageous addicted lovers
Of glands and opium and gold –
They cannot jump high or laugh long
When they are whirling.
And the moon and the stars become sad
When their tender light is used for
Forgiveness is part of the treasure you need
To craft your falcon wings
To your true realm of
In floriography, the Victorian art of interpreting the language of flowers, white tulips represent forgiveness. I wish for you white tulips in all the places you need them.