is for nest.
Given that I’m a HSP (highly sensitive person) and INFJ (Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging, per the Myers-Briggs indicator) you might guess that I have a great need for alone time. And while we’ll all different in our needs and desires, having a nest that nurtures is really a core self-care practice. It’s a foundational thing that makes it’s easier to access the other pieces of your practice.
A number of years ago I really started thinking about how I wanted my nest to be as nurturing and sacred and joy-filled as I could possibly manage. I blogged about this a few years ago and you can see that post here. (Note: the link to Lisa Baldwin’s site isn’t working – she’s doing a reimagining of work and her site. And isn’t that a beautiful expression of the energy we should all invite in when we’re thinking about changes? Re-imagining.)
I don’t want you to imagine that I’m speaking superficially or suggesting you slap a few shiny baubles around your home and life and call it good. Like all practices, like all self-care, this is nuanced and multi-layered and we have a life-long relationship with finding what works, what feels balanced, what wants tweaking.
Because remember self-care is really all about aligning with the energy that is optimal to your self, and your self is always growing, expanding, unfolding. And so our self-care practices have to reflect this. Our nests have to reflect this.
I’m not suggesting that this means that loveifying your nest requires constant buying new things, or aspiring to upgrade, or downsizing or living more simply. This isn’t about having the shiniest or newest or most expensive or the latest trend, and it’s certainly not about holding yourself in comparison with anyone else – neighbors, friends, mentors, imaginary folks on reality TV. We often think we’re past that, certainly those of us consciously walking a spiritual path, and yet, it can be insidious in our society that is so ready to judge when things aren’t matching the perceived collective standards. I mention this because I think we really need to be careful about judging. Really careful. In my considered opinion fear and judgment are the two vibrational sinkholes we need to be vigilant about keeping away from.
For example, I have wonderful, joy-filled life, and yet it’s also true that I live modestly. I live in a home that holds great emotional significance for me and is filled with exquisite love, and yet it’s also true that it’s old and could happily welcome significant renovation that isn’t financially possible for us in this moment. Sometimes it can be really easy for me to hear judgment in other’s opinions about physical aspects of my life that I then allow to make me feel diminished. And seriously – how is that helpful in any respect? Each time it comes up, and it’s often unexpected totally catching me by surprise, I have the opportunity to keep turning it gently back. Keep looking at what serves me, what nourishes me, what delights me, and lessening, lessening, lessening the hold I give to what anyone else thinks. This is self-care. This is dancing the never-ending dance of what is now and what is possible. What nurtures and what is recognized as the true treasure it is. What I want in my nest and what I don’t.
I so love this quote by Mary Oliver:
What treasures do you have in your nest? Is it time to get rid of things that aren’t? Is it time to welcome new things that are? I treasure your comments and love when you visit this blog nest and leave them for me.
my nest doesn’t reflect me.
it is a source of inner pain.
it is a well lived in mobile home …
but that also means it is a well loved in home as well.
But twenty years and a bunch of kids growing up here has taken it’s toll.
We, as well, are not in a financial place to do what we need to do.
I have been mired in negative energy toward my home almost since we moved here though. For some reason, i held a temporary attitude toward it. Like I wanted to not live here from the moment we moved in. I think the negative energy affects my home.
I am working toward cleansing, blessing, smudging, clearing energy. replacing negative thoughts with thoughts of blessing. I want it to be home. not just four walls divided into other four walls.
I’m sorry for all the hard in that Cynthia, and I love all the ways you’re working to open this issue up a little. It’s my belief that our thoughts do make a difference and when they’re negative and held for a long period of time they become like crystalized energy patterns that are block flow. I love your ideas about cleansing and blessing.
i find that there will always be people who judge no matter what. you have to be happy with you, no one else. loved your journey so far and the nest art is fantastic!
Thanks for stopping by Kelly. Your comment about nest art reminded me of a wonderful art project I played in years ago and an artist friend who did nest “installations” – I’ll have to blog about that. And you’re 100% right – one only has to be happy with oneself. I annoy myself when I let that sovereignty slip.