I’ve been talking a lot to friends and clients lately about the big energies I’m feeling as we head into the Friday’s equinox, which also heralds a New Moon and total solar eclipse. For me it feels as if we’re poised at the threshold of a doorway and the energies are gathering at our back, ready to propel us forward. I’m excited.
I’m also wanting to be intentional about what I carry forward with me.
For the last couple years part of my spiritual practice has been examining all the stories I carry – all the things I tell myself about who I am and what has happened in my life. My guidance has always been very clear – let go of the stories.
I can hear some of you gasping – what would that mean? Wouldn’t I lose the very things that are important to me? And I can very truthfully answer – no. You don’t lose the experience. You lose the emotional charge around it. And then the experience becomes pure. It’s like you get to see it wholly, without being pulled off to one side or one perspective or one chosen position for viewing.
But it’s also true we’re very invested in our stories. We think they give us meaning. We’re reluctant to let them go, and especially the ones we use to define ourselves.
But consider what it would be like to simply not tell your story any more. To get more and more free of the ways you think you have to define yourself because of the stories you tell about who you are. Can’t you feel the freedom in that?
I think that’s really what it means to be in the now moment. Not tied to a past perspective, nor projecting yourself forward into the imagined future, but simply being who you are in this moment, authentically meeting the moment in your current state of being.
That’s been on my mind a lot as I prepare to step over the threshold into Spring.
I smiled when I found this quote today from Graham Greene:
“A story has no beginning or end; arbitrarily one chooses one moment of experience from which to look back or from which to look ahead.”
Or perhaps we can just let the story go and just stay current with who we are.
Thanks Deborah, I needed your message today!
I’m glad you came by and found it Susan.
This quote that I came upon about 25 years ago always comes back to me, by Joan Didion, “We tell ourselves stories in order to live.” I’m not sure the meaning resonates with what you’re saying. In fact, it might be the exact opposite…but I’m not actually sure. It just has always stuck with me…so my post here might not really have a point 🙂 But I do think it’s true; maybe it’s not a good way to live but there is truth to it.
LOL – I’m always interested in what you have to say Candace. I like that quote from Didion as well, and I think there’s a lot of truth in it. Sometimes our stories are exactly what we reach for to wrap ourselves in – our little armors that make facing the world possible. There’s something comforting and protective about them. But I think that’s also my point. The stories can keep us one step removed from the opportunity for pure experience – meeting something with our current, not-yet-storied self.
It makes me curious… I’d been focusing on letting go some stories that don’t serve me, but what I let all stories go? I don’t know if I want to, but I can certainly try for a limited time and see what happens. I wonder – is it easy to pick up your old story if you decide that you want it back? Have you experienced wanting to return to your old story?
Interesting plan Tat – I’ll be interested in hearing how it goes for you. But in answer to your question, no, I haven’t found I want to take a story back.
I love story, and I love our stories about ourselves. One of the thing I love is that a story can always be rewritten. As for letting go of all of my stories, wouldn’t that just be another story? Now I’d be living in the story of how I let go of my stories. 🙂
LOL – you do have a point Linda. And heaven knows I love stories. But I’m still holding out for releasing mine.
Let’s break the chains and let’s get free of the stories! What it matters is the present moment.
YES! (said enthusiastically, not shouting)
That’s a really interesting thought Deborah …. I hadn’t considered it before, but the stories we carry with us are so defining … I wonder … this would be a very interesting challenge.
Yeah Fil, that’s exactly my point, and said far more succinctly – thank you. These stories do define us and there’s comfort in that – ready-made answers available to turn to without thinking. But once we pop ourselves into a box it’s so much harder to get ourselves out. And I keep seeing all of us, as much much much more expanded that we’re able to see ourselves as. So I’m thinking if we consciously work at getting rid of the stories some of the box edges will simply have to fall down.
I used to do a thing called The Forum. It was a group that talked a lot about our stories and getting over them. One thing that has been coming up lately is excuses. Excuses are just another story about something. They make US feel good but do nothing for the person we are giving them to. It would be amazing if we could give up all of our stories and excuses. Thanks for writing about this. It’s a good reminder.
Excellent point about excuses Amy. It occurs to me that eliminating stories and excuses (which are a form of stories anyway) is rather like an exercise in energetic hygiene. I need to think some more about this…
Deborah, I studied your image before reading your post. At first I thought the figure had wings, then I thought, no, her “baggage” is really light, like it has been emptied out . . . yup! I am happy to carry less. Your post is a good reminder for me, thank you.
I love that Janet. And it makes me smile as well. Last night I had a dream about how there were little caches of wonderful clothes and costumes hidden all over, so we never had to pack clothes when we traveled. Talk about lightening up the luggage. 🙂
Many years ago, a mentor told me “It’s not about the event; it’s about the meaning we attach to the event.” And it’s our stories that determine the meaning. I had one story that had bugged me for more than 10 years, and not in a good way. Every time I thought of it I felt slightly sick and nervous – yet the event itself was really nothing. When I got tired enough of it, I used one of Tony Robbins’ NLP strategies (SWISH) and within a few minutes the entire emotional charge I’d attached to the event had disappeared.
I believe some stories may serve us, but many don’t. And if there’s a easy way to remove them and open up the event to a completely different interpretation, why not?
I couldn’t agree more Isobel, and I’m glad you were able to release the story that wasn’t serving you. Thanks for stopping by and hello.
i agree with you Deborah. . Releasing stories frees us up from carting the heavy burdens of baggage everywhere we want to go. That practice has enabled me to make some pretty fantastic leaps towards the future that I wouldn’t have been able to do while carrying such a heavy load.
I really love and resonate with that image of baggage/luggage, and setting down stories can really feeling like setting down a rock-filled backpack.
This goes right in line with my recent shredding of old journals! I love the idea of letting go of what doesn’t serve us any longer. Great post!
You’ve been doing lots of releasing Naomi and no doubt you’re feeling the spaciousness of it. Pretty marvelous isn’t it?
I’m all for letting go of stories. I’m just not necessarily talented in that department. Not yet, at any rate, though a late-onset talent may emerge.
Recently, though, I’ve found myself telling new friends the stories of my life, my past, with a kind of detachment, without the old emotional thrust, and with a good measure of curiosity. If that is part of letting go, then I’ll let it take its course. 🙂
Had to pop back to mention that the image on this post is just gorgeous. Did you create it?
It’s a fabulous image isn’t it Harmony? But not mine, simply used with permission.
I think that’s perfect Harmony.
Interesting, interesting question Deborah. I’ve noticed lately that when I go back and reread old blog posts of mine I’m tempted to rewrite them. A different story would emerge. Hmmm….
That’s so fascinating isn’t it Kelly?
Stopped by for an overdue visit and landed on this post to read first…and what timing! Deborah, I’ve been working on releasing old resentments based on an old story which has been blocking me for nearly 10 years, yet I’ve only recently been feeling just how blocked I’ve been in the last year, and blocked financially. I have an urgent need to remove this block, but since starting the earnest work of releasing it, a different layer has come up around feeling pressured to be ‘best buddies’ with the individual that is at the center of this story, the individual that prompted my feelings of anger and resentment, an individual I was not impressed with upon meeting them in the first place. And releasing the toxic build-up has been making me literally sick! =\ But I have to say that voicing my truth of not being ‘besties’ with this individual was perhaps the most frightening aspect of releasing this old story, but I was reminded, just before telling my truth, that ‘no one gets to choose my friends for me except ME’.
I want to thank you Deborah, and I want to thank all the lovely commenters for sharing their perspectives and wisdom here. I plan to print this post and all the comments that go with it to use as I conitnue my work around releasing the old story, the old anger and the old resentment, because I am finally realizing just what I needed to learn around this story and it is this: to know when my boundaries are being crossed, to know when I’m being disrespected or devalued and to TRUST THAT FEELING, instead of brush it off, and TRUST THE FEELING that some people do not have my best interests at heart, which is NOT how true freindshiip works! Thank you for sharing your perspective Deborah – posting my comment has allowed me to remove yet another layer which I know will help me to continue healing =)
I love those wonderful instances of finding something just when you need to hear it. So that makes me doubly glad you stopped by. And I want to cheer you on Monica, for doing this hard uncovering work and claiming your truth; for honoring your boundaries and knowing you’re sovereign.
Thank you for your kind words of support and encouragement Deborah! They are SO greatly appreciated and valued =)
Thought provoking for sure! I have to think about this. Obviously, there are some stories that, after being told, should make way for something new. Of course there are those stories, that should never be told…ever. And those ones that are told over and over, so many times that you cringe when someone starts to tell it again, yet with abit of embellishment or exaggeration this time. Enough already!!! Ah, but then there are those stories that help to define us as individuals. Some of them happy and joyful stories, and even some that tell a tale of woe, which can be helpful to others as they meander through the zigs and zags of life. Those are the ones that should be told over and over, for the future generations to hold onto as near and dear to their hearts. Stories that keep people grounded and connected as they veer off in different directions. Our stories are the threads that weave and bind us together as one in this vast Universe that we share. Staying present and embracing the NOW is truly the essence of a peaceful existence, but how can you be fully present without a story to tell? Aloha
I’m finding the whole thing very thought-provoking indeed Vicki, including your response. But I still believe that if we never told another story again about ourselves, we could still radiate our essential self AND be very present in the moment. And I kind of like the idea of meeting everyone all shiny and current. And still, you’re right – lots to think about.