My heart feels a little tender today. But before I talk more about that, let this be a reminder that the proverbial doors of Artysville’s Glue-It-Tuesday salon have been flung open and we’re all invited to go see what gluing goodness is happening.
Here’s a peek at a 2-page spread in one of my journals.
A friend, who is part of a circle I’ve been doing deep soul work with for several years, has decided to leave the group. I totally respect and honor that – if there’s one thing I adamantly encourage it is paying attention to your guidance and following your heart. So while I celebrate my friend’s decision as right for her, there is a sadness as well. And a knowing that significant changes like this in a group cause ripples and waves as everyone finds their own peace and place in the reconfiguration. So I’m giving my heart a little extra TLC today and flowing compassion as widely as I can to everything. Tender touches for all.
It felt like a loving little gift from spirit when I came across the photo of the ducks this morning. There it was, a lone photo, nestled in a box where I keep stuff I want to journal about. I don’t really exactly remember taking the photo, although I remember the scene. But it certainly was a long time ago – I can’t remember the last time I had film developed. But in any case, there the photo was. One duck in the forefront separated from the others. It seemed like a perfect metaphor for the group situation.
But I’ve also continued to think about that scene in another way. How often I see myself as the lone duck. How sometimes I feel separated from others – how my eccentricities, my sensitivities, my stories – keep me from feeling like I belong. But even as I think that I know the picture changes in that next frame that I didn’t get the photo of. In that next moment I get folded back into the group (or go off and find another group). We all have those moments of feeling apart; but there are always the moments of remembering our unity. The message for me today was not to get stuck thinking the final picture is one where I’m standing alone.
The second page is a bit of a reminder about a dream I had just before waking this morning, that’s also been playing on my mind. I was thinking about my mom a lot yesterday. Although she’s been dead for many years now, I still find myself surprised sometimes at how tender my heart can be around that loss. She had a stroke a little over a year before she died and that journey as we navigated our time together was one of the most profound in my life. While it was certainly one of the hardest times, it was also one of the most blessed. One of the things I was remembering was how after the stroke, how much more everything was on the surface for her. It was as though all her secret inside places got thrown open so she could look at them. I was telling her than in my dream, and she smiled and pointed to me. When I looked down, I saw I had little drawers in my torso, and I somehow also knew the top of my head opened up on a hinge and there was a cool little storage cubby there as well. I was getting more and more excited as I realized I had these secret places I could now access and then oops, excitement won and popped me out of the dream. But it left its message and I’ve been thinking about it. What have I kept hidden from myself that I’m now ready to look at?
What about you? Are you feeling like there are things about yourself you’re ready to reveal to yourself? Have you had any wonderful dreams lately? Any sad losses that we can send some comforting love for? If we peeked into a secret drawer of yours, what might we see? Do tell – you know I love to hear.