I’ve been dancing with a writing block now for longer than I care to think about. And it’s time to take a look at what this is all about. I like to think I have things to share, and actually I often feel I do. But when it comes to actually putting them down on paper, I get paralyzed. What do I have to say?
I’ve been getting some coaching along with assistance from my Spirit Guides (a heartfelt thank you to Andrea Hess and her Transformational Mastery program!), and now is the time to address the fear, break through it, and just write. What have I got to lose?
If we believe, as I do, that everything is related, it can be helpful to look at what’s happening in your life. Surely what appears in one aspect/context is appearing elsewhere. Only sometimes it’s easier to see in one place than another. So that can be a key in. Find a place where you are in touch and then pay attention to how that is manifesting elsewhere in your life. A theme!
Time is a big theme for me. I have what I consider an inordinate fascination with it. I have for a long time felt like I was meant to understand it in a way that takes me deeper – beyond the ordinary expression of how I often experience not having enough of it, or having it fly by so quickly. I’ve tried many ways to tease an understanding out, or at the very least, put myself on the path to understanding it more. I love and give much credit to Waverly Fitzgerald and her Slow Time program – now a book, although it was in a class format when I first worked with it. I’ve tried observing time and honoring it with my own versions of a Book of Hours. That’s one of the projects that gets periodic attention from me. Traditionally a Book of Hours was used as a devotional offering prayers for specific hours of the day; in my versions I’ve enjoyed naming the hours or periods of the day with my own observations, and the books have taken many formats – prayers, poems, collaged artwork.
I recently read Slade Roberson’s article on how ideas are out there and we can choose to be a channel for them or not – that those ideas that are meant to be will find a way in, with or without us. Who knows if I’ve ever had any leading edge thoughts, but the idea that I might have something to say and just don’t just doesn’t seem in alignment with who I want to be.
Sometimes my mind feels too jumbled – like I have TOO many ideas. Just as I’m always reading three or four books at a time; and involved in several projects. I like that dance – it can be very stimulating and encourage cross-fertilization and result in wonderful collaborations and ideas.
And then I talk myself out of it – with thoughts that perhaps I should take a little time and focus my ideas into something more coherent; give myself a little time to decide what I want to talk about; find a rhythm, a pattern, an organization, an order. And there we have it. It’s pushed aside and moved out of the action phase into the contemplation phase once again. So that’s the habit I’m going to do my best to change now. I’m giving myself permission to post whatever happens to be on my mind, honoring my rambling nature. Remembering that everything is connected, and it’s okay to dive in at one point not know where I’m going, and yet be assured I’m where I’m supposed to be. I hadn’t realized I needed permission from myself, but apparently I do, and so know it’s given.
And so after so many false starts, let the journey begin again.