I work extensively with my dreams. It’s something that fascinates me and I find provides rich fodder both for creative inspiration and self-knowledge. The other night I had a number of dreams, and each ended with some unresolved/unfinished business. When I woke up the next morning I felt altogether unsatisfied, with a sense that there were things still waiting to be finished. And I had an aha moment.
There are indeed a number of unfinished projects in my life at the moment. Several I deliberately put on hold so I could attend to something else with a pressing due date, but others have just languished for no apparent reason. But the cumulative weight of them all has been pressing on me lately, as each day I add them back on my to-do list.
Yesterday I took a look at the energy of this. What is is saying that I can’t complete things? Some possibilities that came to mind:
- i believe in lack – that I lack abundance in the resource of time
- i can’t be trusted to follow through on my committments
- by holding on to old things, I can’t allow myself space for new things
- if I experience myself as overburdened, then I can’t experience myself as big enough to handle all this
- do i continue to hold things open because I’m afraid to have them finished? What would that fear be? Perhaps that if I spent more time on them I could do a better job.
Each of these things tells me more about my current attitudes about abundance, trust, release, balance, and perfection. And knowing where I stand – what energy I’m putting out that will surely be reflected back to me, allows me to shift so I can get a return I’d like better. It’s all so endlessly amazing and perfect!
And just as it’s helpful to look at how the energy in one part of your life is reflected elsewhere, I looked at how my life has become cluttered. In times of creative flurry my art studio space becomes cluttered. When I’m done with a project I need to take time to reflect on what I’ve done and officially release the energy, and then take time to straighten things out in the studio to prepare for a new wave of inspiration and creation. And so I can see how I need to build this ritual into the other parts of my life – the parts that need decluttering too.
So today I took time away from the to-do list and worked with the energy in a different way. I did some literal decluttering – cleaning out desk drawers and rearranging my business work space. And as I was doing that I reflected about all the projects on my to-do list. There are a number that I’m really excited about and looking forward to pouring lots of my energy and passion into. But there is one that I’m ready to admit I’m just not willing to commit to anymore; and another that I’ve decided to renegotiate deadlines for. And I’m left re-energized about the things I am doing, and recommitted to following through on them with a new action plan in place. Hooray!