Niki of The Richness of a Simple Life’s Kindness Challenge invites us in week 6 to
think of who inspires you to be more kind.
I probably have to say my number one choice is the Dalai Lama.
This is a man who is exiled from his country, has endured the genocide of so many of his people and so much of his culture, and yet he invokes kindness as the way to live. He embodies kindness. I find it hard not to be inspired.
But there are so many people in my life, with whom I have personal connection, that inspire kindness as well. I am extraordinarily blessed, that’s certainly true. But there’s more to it than that, and I’ve been thinking about that this week as well.
First, let me cite this quote from the book On Kindness by Adam Phillips & Barbara Taylor:
“Kindness’s original meaning of kinship or sameness has stretched over time to encompass sentiments that today go by a wide variety of names – sympathy, generosity, altruism, benevolence, humanity, compassion, pity, empathy… The precise meanings of these words vary, but fundamentally they all denote what the Victorians called “open-heartedness,” the sympathetic expansiveness linking self to other.”
Interesting isn’t it that kindness originally meant kinship or sameness?
And interesting as well that this is such a paradox. It’s easy to be kind to those who are “like” us – our tribe, our people, our country – any one of those classifications that is really at the heart of separation. Me – not me.
Yet, this is exactly what the problem is; the problem that shows itself with such clarity, such magnitude, such obviousness in our world today. Until we find our way into understanding that we can celebrate each other’s diversity AND hold the inherent understanding that we are in fact simply different expressions of one unity, we’re in a very stuck place indeed.
I think it’s natural to surround ourselves with people who are like us in some way. But the key is, is to keep enlarging the pool. I believe I am a basically kind person and kindness matters to me. So I invite kindness into my world via the people who I’m in relationship with. Which is why I have so many kind people in my world. I also love creatives, and nine times out of ten they look nothing like me. This is good – this is expansion. This is the “open-heartedness” of true kindness, stretching the me-not me into a cause for celebration, a unifying “us.” Do you see what I’m saying?
Perhaps I strayed far from the focus of this week’s challenge, but the truth is I think there is kindness and wisdom and beauty all around us. And we have to keep expanding our reach; keep opening our hearts; keep remembering as Ram Dass said, “we’re all just walking each other home.”
I was touched by the wisdom expressed in this video by a former CIA employee. Life is complex – it is extraordinarily complex in some ways, and sometimes we need deep and prolonged discussions that are far beyond the scope of our Twitter feeds or our FB updates or even our sometimes too-long blog posts. But we have to step up. All of us. One heart at a time.
So there you have it – a post on kindness offered, I suspect, somewhat from a soapbox. Now it’s your turn. Who inspires kindness in you? Where do you think we should be pouring our kindness efforts right now? Did you know the original meaning of kindness? Do tell – you know I love to hear.
What an insightful video share, Deborah! I’ll be replaying this one in my head for a while. Of course, so much of what you wrote in this post is good for reflection too. Thanks for the history lesson on the original meaning of kindness and your take on stretching that for more.
I’m with you Nanette – I think that video really offers an important perspective that deserves wide-spread distribution, thoughtful consideration, and deep discussion.
Wishing you a week filled with kindness.
Oh, Deborah, you’ve reminded me of something very special that happened to my mom. Years ago, in the early 60’s, she submitted a proposal to the tv show “Live a Borrowed Life.” The show had 3 members on the panel and their job was to guess the identity of the person being interviewed. The catch was the person had to be someone other than themselves. She proposed that she go on as “the Dalai Lama.” They loved the idea and she flew to New York from our home in Vancouver, BC. Great excitement for her. They guessed who she was however she had a wonderful time.
Oh how fun Kelly! And how wonderful to know you’re the daughter of a television star.
When people ask me my religion, I use the quote from the Dalai Lama, “My religion is kindness.” This has been someone I have admired immensely. I appreciated you sharing the origin of the meaning of kindness AND about ‘open-heattedness’….as always I truly enjoy your posts. thank you!
What a beautiful way to respond to the question Elda – I really like that. What a perfect opportunity move the conversation into something unexpectedly deeper if that’s were the questioner wishes to go.
You had me when the image your posted popped up! I’m a big Dalai Lama fan, lucky to have been in his presence two different times. Emory University – a few miles away from me – has a unique relationship with him and Tibet – they have an exchange program with the monks there and he visits every so often. If he comes again, I’ll go again. While I can’t always understand what he says, I feel the utter joy that emanates from that man – and he does have a pretty wicked sense of humor. When a friend he wasn’t expected walked into the crowd (from Ireland no less), he jumped off the stage to embrace him – you could tell the guards were a little wary – but it was such a demonstration of love and joy I have never forgot it. Richard Moore – blinded by a bullet as a child – he is the Dalai Lama’s hero – here is a link to his story from The Tibet Post – thank you for this post – it made me look up this extraordinary tale http://www.thetibetpost.com/en/outlook/interviews-and-recap/2586-interview-with-richard-moore-the-dalai-lamas-irish-hero-part-1
Oh how wonderful you’ve got to experience the Dalai Lama’s beautiful energy in person! And what a profoundly moving story about Richard Moore – thanks for sharing it.