
I keep this “Love Who You Are” card from Papaya Art tucked in my studio. But I thought it was perfect to share in honor of today.
Well over a decade ago Christine Arylo started a movement to declare February 13 an annual celebration of Self Love. I know the idea of Valentine’s Day, our socially sanctioned “love holiday” can be fraught for all manner of reasons, but the purpose of today’s observation is to set that all aside and dig deep into the understanding that loving ourselves is the most important piece of everything.
Frankly, I believe this to be true; and it is in fact, one of my core messages. It’s my “flavor” of understanding and unfolding the larger paradigm of Unity Consciousness. For those of us in the spiritual community, unity consciousness is something discussed frequently – it is an underlying foundation of understanding. But when I ask people, language about what exactly Unity Consciousness means can get vague. So, to simplify things, this is a basic definition. The Oneness contains all things AND all things contain the Oneness.
Our souls have long experienced themselves as unified in wholeness, part of a collective field that we only glimpse at while we’re in this embodied life. But re-awakening to the understanding of Unity Consciousness is definitely part of our collective planetary evolution.
I believe that loving yourself is critical in truly understanding yourself as a divine spark in an infinite field of Unity and Love. It requires that I know that not only AM I loveable but that it’s actually no one else’s responsibility to love me except myself. If I negate my worthiness, putting another ahead of me in a so-called “selfless” manner; or if I consider my worth depends on having someone validate me by pledging and demonstrating their love for me, then what I’m really saying is that we aren’t all equal, that we aren’t all sovereign, that we aren’t all capable shining Ambassadors of Infinite Love. And I most certainly believe we are.
This is such an interesting adventure we’re on. Committed to an Earth walk, but welcoming our remembering that we are in fact so much more. With our expanded, and hopefully always continually expanding, awareness, every shift, every expansion, particularly with the bigger collective paradigm shifts where we truly come to know ourselves as multi-dimensional beings, actually require shifts on the physical level of embodiment. As we open to higher frequencies, as we make expanded room within ourselves for more light and more refined vibrations, we need to ramp up the self love.
So what does self-love look like in our 4-bodies – our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual bodies? It’s different for each one of us; it’s always a nuanced and evolving dance, and it’s something I encourage us to pay attention to. We are embodied. In body. On Earth. These particular bodies of ours are OF Earth. Connected to her energy, her crystalline grid, her field of vibration, light, and frequency. For many on a committed spiritual path who have spent so much time and energy awakening to their spiritual soul self, the body has often been dismissed as simply the vehicle that got us here. But I think this is a misunderstanding. I believe we are embodied in service to Earth (and all who inhabit her), to anchor the highest vibrations we are able to carry, to transmit, to radiate. We are living bridges between the cosmic multi-dimensional and this beautiful ascending planet we walk upon.
So of course we need to shower these beautiful body “transceivers” of ours with love. We need to love our physical bodies, our mental bodies, our emotional bodies, and our spiritual bodies. It needs to be an ongoing practice, an ongoing devotion, an unending commitment.
When we think of it that way, doesn’t that invite a greater appreciation of a formalized Day of Self Love?

Shifting to a more pragmatic perspective, one of the things I’ve been reflecting on is how far we’ve come, particularly collectively as women, in the 10+ years since Christina Arylo widely popularized the idea of celebrating self love. I’m delighted at the progress we’ve made. It’s certainly a topic that is discussed more frequently and something that is actually worked towards. And somehow I think that the very nature of our pandemic experience has provided both the opportunity to reflect on the topic AND the necessity to figure out how we can live with ourselves with greater ease.
Of course, It can be a tricky subject. Because although I think we all really DO understand that we have to take care of ourselves and keep our own wells filled before we can offer anything of value to another, there’s certainly a lot of societal messages that seem to offer contrary judgments. That loving ourselves is selfish, and at the very least needs to be delegated to the realm of least importance. That it’s egocentric. That others are far more important than we are, and we’re not good people unless we live entirely from that perspective. That we are flawed and so loving ourselves is not actually possible – we would better spend our time improving ourselves, fixing ourselves, hiding ourselves. The voices and the messages are loud and endless.
And in my opinion, utter nonsense. I believe the most important awareness in understanding that I’m a divine spark in an infinite field of Unity and Love is knowing that not only am I loveable, but that it is no one else’s responsibility to love me except myself. If I negate my worthiness, putting another ahead of me in a so-called self-less manner, I’m really saying we aren’t all equal, we aren’t all sovereign, we aren’t all Ambassadors of Infinite Love. And there’s no way I’m claiming that. I am sovereign, I am an Ambassador of Infinite Love, and I do in fact love myself. And I believe you should as well. Which of course is the purpose of today’s celebration. To be open about it. To show up and say, Dear Me, I see you, I know you, I love you.
Are you able to do that? Appreciate yourself? Slather yourself with love and nurturing and kindness? Celebrate yourself?
Recently I was going through some of my old journals and found a page where I’d spent some time reflecting on the expression “me myself and I.” When I was growing up that was a shaming proclamation. It took me a long time to reclaim it as the powerful declaration it really is. There isn’t anyone else like me and that’s a pretty fabulous thing. Also on the page, which is no surprise since I love anagramming, was a list of things “me myself and I” anagrams into. And you know what my favorite is? My Fine Damsel.
I think that’s a very good way to think about myself. And you as well.
I can and do love myself, but I’m also impatient with myself. I can be demanding and self-critical because I always want to do and be better. It can be a difficult road. When does believing in oneself become pushy? It reminds me of parenting and some of those tricky judgements about when to back off and when to give a nudge.
I think you’re right, Margaret – all of life is a nuanced dance. I think to expect anything less of it or ourselves is denying the richness that is always available to us to experience.
Hari OM
An important point and one I also blogged about recently. Wholeheartedly agree that if we cannot love ourselves, then how can we expect it from others?! I love the idea of anagramming ‘me, myself and I’ – will have a to at that as an exercise… given my philosophical bent, I also like the phrase/affirmation, “all this am I”, ‘this’ representing the entire perceived world. If we remember that we are but a cell in a much larger organism and that all other things about us are simply more cells in that same organism, we gain a better perspective of our matter-state, of our relationship with all other matter forms, and that the “I” which is perceiving it is something other than matter. What’s not to love?!!!
Prem and pranaams, YAM xx
I love your perspective Yamini. My preferred expression of this is “I AM a radiant point of the Divine One Light.” Same understanding I think, just different words. Which seems exactly perfect to me.
Hi Deborah – so interesting about the anagram thoughts … but more importantly about how we go about living our lives … we are just part of this earth and living together in harmony and fairness – sensibly and wisely. Excellent post – all the best – Hilary
I’m not sure when or why I became an anagram junkie, but it’s certainly a thing with me. 🙂 I like your perspective as well Hilary. Living in harmony and fairness seems like a manifesto we should all be able to get behind, and how I would love to see a world where we embrace it whole-heartedly. May it be so!